October 27, 2006 -- Okay, the good folks at Diageo, owners of the world’s most famous stout, have gone insane. According to my friends at the British hospitality mag, The Publican, Diageo have confirmed that they plan to test market a new brew called Guinness Red, a variant of the original Guinness brewed from toasted, rather than roasted, malt.

Which begs the question: Why? Not to mention: What were you smoking when you came up with this idea?

Listen, Diageo, I know that sales of Guinness are falling in Ireland and the U.K., at least according to my sources, and that you likely want to find some way to buoy them up. But believe me, this ain’t it! Guinness is stout, plain and simple. Not some Kilkenny knock off, not a weird looking creation which, judging by the photo published online at www.thesun.co.uk, boasts tomato juice as an ingredient, but stout. The black stuff. Period.

Granted, I’m probably not the best person to act as judge on this, since I more or less gave up Guinness a few years back and turned my attentions to fuller, roastier, even drier stouts. But I’m betting that the lads and lassies at the pub will say the same thing. And that none of them will be lining up for a “pint o’ the red.”

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