Thanks to CAMRA 'What's Brewing' writer Susan Nowak for bringing to my attention an article penned a couple of months ago by food writer Joanna Blythman in the Guardian newspaper. I was so intrigued by Ms. Nowak's response to Ms. Blythman that I had to go on-line and find the original for myself. Having now read it in full several times - it took a few run-throughs before I believed my eyes - I can only conclude that Ms. Blythman is completely out of touch with reality.
I am not a beer bigot. I respect people's right to choose what they do and do not drink and have never harassed someone who said they didn't want a beer. But Ms. Blythman's remarks venture well beyond the pale. A few examples, with reply:
Joanna Blythman: Women do not see the point of beer. It fills you up with fluid and gas. It makes you burp and fart and gain weight uncontrollably. Why subject yourself to that when you can drink anything else?
Stephen Beaumont: Women? Would that be all women Ms. Blythman is speaking for, including the thousands who attended the Great American Beer Festival in Denver last weekend and the Great British Beer Festival in August?
JB: Delicate size eights and 10s do not have strong enough wrists to raise a pint with one hand. Even size 12 to 20 women do not have stomachs to accommodate a sudden vast influx of gaseous liquid.
SB: Maybe "delicate size eights and 10s" with anemia. The many, many female beer drinkers I know, more than just a few of whom could be described as delicate and/or petite, have no problem handling a pint. And since when does twenty Imperial fluid ounces constitute a "vast influx"? I'm not even going to get started on the "gaseous" comment.
JB: As an accompaniment to food, beer is a disaster. It is a blockbuster, big and bossy, a presence that dominates everything else in sight. People who promote beer with curry are doing grievous bodily harm to the subcontinent's cuisine. As an experiment, mix a takeaway with a couple of pints. Only a grossly distended stomach could cope with that lot.
SB: I have to wonder when the last time was that Ms. Blythman tried to find a wine to partner with a curry. Even the wine writers and sommeliers I know admit that beer is the best option here. Further, how about wines for artichoke, salad, chocolate or asparagus? There are beers that match wonderfully with each, and that's just the tip of the food and beer pairing iceberg.
JB: Stout is the worst. Last time I was persuaded to dip into the inky depths of a mere half pint of smoky Dublin stuff, the first mouthful was intriguing. But in stomach pressure terms, ploughing through the rest felt like three square meals in liquid form.
SB: Would this be the same stout that typically has around 4% alcohol by volume, and is therefore relatively low in calories, with fewer than the equivalent quantity of milk, and also boasts minimal carbonation?
JB: Until beer is scaled down to manageable proportions, it is going to get an unhesitating feminine thumbs down.
SB: A truly remarkable statement, and an insult and affront to the millions of gorgeous, sexy women around the world who know full well the pleasures of a good pint, half-pint, half-litre or glass of well-crafted, flavourful beer.
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